Going solo was tough

As a newly-single parent, NC mom Vi was finding that having to solve problems on her own was her biggest challenge.

"I [went from] constantly bouncing parenting ideas off [my partner] to it really being just myself," says Vi, mom to a 14 year-old boy and 9-year-old girl.

Vi says that after her marriage broke up, her son was trying to be tough and strong for his mom, but Vi wanted him to realize he was still just a kid.

And even though he'd always been a great student, his grades were dropping, and Vi didn't know how to get him to talk about it.

"When I'd address the issue with him, he would just shut down and say 'I don't know.' He wasn't able to tell me why or what he needed."

Vi was also worried about her daughter, who was not only shy and quiet but seldom spoke up when something was bothering her.

"I just couldn't get her to be more comfortable opening up to me about difficult topics as well as interacting with more of her friends," says Vi.

"I also wanted her to be able to stand up for herself more."

Online and in-person support

Vi began seeing a counselor who recommended she also do Triple P Online, as a way of getting extra support that she could slot into her busy day.

As soon as she began working through the online modules, Vi became more aware of her own parenting style, and what was and wasn't working.

Middle ground brings everyone together

Coming from an Asian background, she says she'd always felt the need to use strict and firm discipline.

"I started to realize that there isn't one set way of doing things," says Vi. "Just because I was brought up a certain way, it doesn't have to be like this. I shouldn't feel so guilty about backing off sometimes, because there's a good middle ground."

One of the things Vi liked most about the program was that she could choose from multiple suggestions; there was no 'you must do this'. It also helped her set realistic expectations for herself and realize there's no such thing as a perfect parent.

"The program wasn't judgmental, and I liked that, as well as the focus on giving praises, which is something as a single mom you can forget, because in very many ways you're in survival mode."

A calmer and happier household

Vi began to focus more on the positive things her children were doing. Instead of focusing on her son's lower grades, she praised him for his successes.

She also made a conscious effort to speak more calmly and become less upset, a change that's brought everyone closer together.

"I've definitely seen an improvement."

The kids are more confident

"My son is now comfortable coming to me about uncomfortable issues without [me] feeling like I have to take the initiative to approach him. With my daughter, she now feels more secure when I tell her it's ok to tell people what she thinks and how she feels."

"I'm just really happy my kids are learning to be able to communicate their needs, and they're doing it in a way they're comfortable with."

Bring out the best in your teenagers – and make your own life a little easier, too!

Triple P and Teen Triple P have helped thousands of families in NC. Now there are online versions of Triple P and Teen Triple P, ideal for busy parents, with 24/7 access and self-paced, interactive learning, anytime, anywhere. Doing Triple P helps you handle any parenting situation, including the stresses of bringing up teenagers (and worrying about them) while also looking after yourself.

Everyone's got theories. The differences is the Triple P – Positive Parenting Program® is evidence-based and all the tips and strategies have been tested over decades of research.