Things weren't going to plan

NC mom Dyana Bostian thought she had parenting covered. After all, when her nine-year-old daughter was little, Dyana had done her research, used recommended techniques, and had great success. So when her son turned two and started acting out, Dyana thought she'd simply be able to get through the toddler phase the same way she had before.

But soon, Trey began yelling more, kicking, hitting, or running from his mom. Just getting him to preschool in the mornings became a daily battle.

"He started crying as we got in the car, and then he wouldn't get out once we arrived. He would almost injure himself fighting me not to go into the building," remembers Dyana.

As his behavior worsened, Dyana started to feel out of her depth. The breaking point came one night at dinner. Trey wanted his father to get him a glass of milk, but when Dyana got it instead, the result was a tantrum of epic proportions.

"I needed help"

Like many parents, Dyana hadn't thought much about whether or not a different parenting style would really change things. But she knew something had to change.

"When I saw his anger …I realized that this isn't how I want him to problem solve or communicate his emotions. The parenting style I was using just wasn't working, and I needed help," says Dyana.

Dyana searched the Internet for answers and found several articles about the Triple P – Positive Parenting Program. She also reached out to Mental Health America of Central Carolinas and began working one-on-one with a Triple P provider.

Dyana discovered the parenting style that had suited her first child just wasn't right for Trey. In fact, the more she found herself saying 'no' and 'stop' to him, the worse he seemed to get. Dyana and her husband now needed to focus on the positives; recognize good behaviors even more so than bad ones, but still have rules and boundaries.

"We saw that we needed to have that same level of intensity over the things he did right as we did with what he did wrong. It was hard and very challenging, but even just doing a little bit of that seems to make a big difference," says Dyana.

Using the "write" tools

One strategy Dyana found very helpful was using Triple P tools to track Trey's outbursts and tantrums, to figure out some of the triggers, and plan ahead—and track their progress.

"I thought I was an attentive parent who knew what was going on, but once I wrote things down, it helped me understand how I could make small changes in what I was doing," says Dyana.

"It was also great being able to actually see that his problem behaviors were decreasing, even if it didn't feel like it in the moment."

Dyana says even making the smallest changes created big results with Trey. And Triple P helped her to create an environment where Trey could develop his skills, so it no longer felt like every moment was a battle.

Positive outcomes for mom, too

It took less than three months, says Dyana, for things to change so much for the better that Trey seemed like a different child.

"It's amazing how quickly things change. The best part for me was recognizing that he wasn't a bad child, and I wasn't a bad mom. We just weren't communicating effectively," says Dyana.

"Triple P just takes that feeling of guilt off, which allows you to be more positive and open-minded."

Bring out the best in your child – and make your own life a little easier, too!

Triple P has helped thousands of families in NC, and now there's the Triple P Online program, ideal for busy parents! Work through the modules at your own pace, anytime, anywhere. Doing Triple P Online can help you handle any parenting situation, including tantrums, so that everyone feels better and enjoys life more!

Everyone's got theories. The differences is the Triple P – Positive Parenting Program® is evidence-based and all the tips and strategies have been tested over decades of research.